Take your diagnosis and make it work for you. Maverick Thinker, Kieran Stanislaw Mace, shares how …
Kieran Stanislaw Mace (his friends call him Stan) went to school in the 90s and early 2000s, and back then, they didn’t understand OCD. Getting bored in class and being generally quiet he was written off as an unintelligent outcast. It was only when he aced his GCSE exams that he realised he wasn’t stupid after all. In that moment he realised how wrong his current teachers had been about him and moved forwards in a new college soaking every bit of learning up in ‘information wonderland’.
Wanting to be an example for those misunderstood in school or in the workplace because of mental challenges, he has worked to understand his OCD diagnosis, create systems for work and has got over his intense shyness. No mean feat, he now regularly speaks on live platforms, appears on podcasts, handles presentations, has just secured his first book deal for PARA.NORMALITY and even does psychedelic art as a way to relax.
‘If someone like me can take the energy I once wasted worrying about my OCD and instead, channel it into multiple projects, then anyone can do anything. OCD, can actually be your secret superpower’.
When were you diagnosed with OCD?
In 2019 I’d known that I’d had it for years, but wanted to speak to someone to validate it. I started to confront it by doing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to make small changes to my habits, and basically re-program the way that my brain works, so that kind of worked, and then I started researching everything else around it. Eventually following therapy to further understand my abilities, I was placed within the neurodivergent category where I wait to hear the full outcome of my prognosis.
What’s the biggest lesson that your OCD diagnosis has shown you?
That you can turn what society labels as your biggest weakness, into your biggest strength. I don’t think I would be where I am in my career now without it. As I’ve got better at managing my OCD, I’ve learnt to focus my energy on making something better so in terms of my work as a designer, I’m ultra specific with the work that I do. So I see things that most other people don’t see, like the most tiniest few pixels out of place. If I’m listening to a video that we’ve made, I can hear something in the sound that, okay, something’s not right there. We need to just adjust a few levels. I’ve found that I enjoy being in my own micro world and focusing on all the details. So that’s helped every employer I’ve had spot any errors and avoid costly mistakes that no one else could see. It’s helped me make my mark with original design as I spend the time on details that others wouldn’t think about or rush to complete.
Do you find that OCD impacts your attention span in a good or a bad way?
When I’m in a good place, I can hyper-focus on one thing and really dig into it, almost to the point where I’m staring at the screen until it’s done. But if I’m not feeling great, it’s a different story. I’ll still focus, but everything starts hitting me all at once. It’s like trying to do everything at once but doing it all terribly – getting distracted and overwhelmed. Like, while I’m working on a video, once I’m making the video, I’m thinking about a conversation that I had with somebody before saying I have this idea of this campaign, so as I’m making the video I’m also thinking about ideas for that campaign. And as I’m thinking about that I’m also remembering ‘but that guy said a few comments about the icon set that I made the other day’, plus then I suddenly panic – did I put the washing machine on and give the cats their medication? This is all in a space of fifteen seconds. It’s a mess of multitasking, and that’s where OCD and ADHD can feel similar. OCD is about controlling everything, while ADHD is about being overwhelmed by everything all the time.
Can your diet can help?
I’ve definitely made some changes to my diet to help with my OCD. For a while, I was really into coffee, but I noticed that it only made my anxiety worse, especially during COVID. It sent my brain racing, I was on edge all the time, constantly feeling like there was a threat nearby. So, I swapped regular coffee for mushroom coffee. It sounds weird, but it tastes just like regular coffee and gives a more natural energy boost without the jitters. It’s designed for people with anxiety and ADHD, and it’s helped me focus and stay calm throughout the day.
I’ve also started paying more attention to my water intake. It sounds simple, but drinking more water helps me regulate my blood sugar levels, emotions and helps me to calm down when things feel overwhelming. It’s almost like having a routine, like the act of making a cup of tea or just taking a moment to step back. Sometimes it’s the little things that help, and I’ve learned to listen to my body more. Your body knows what it needs, even if your mind doesn’t.
I’ve realised that diet can really affect your body’s reaction, so it’s important to be mindful of what you’re eating. Too much sugar, alcohol, or other stimulants can make things worse, because my brain’s already running at 100 miles per hour as it is, without giving it more of the wrong type of fuel. Another thing I’ve found helpful is switching sugar for honey. It’s great for reducing the negative effects of sugar consumption while boosting your immune system.
As I mentioned in your other article ‘OCD in the workplace’, you’re very self aware. Is this an on going journey?
Yes, I’ve done a lot of research myself but I’m now in the process of seeing a psychologist now to understand myself better, I have OCD, and I’m still figuring aspects of myself that sit within the neurodivergent spectrum, and in the meantime I have two lovely kids, an amazing wife and a job so it’s a lot of responsibilities, but I’m learning to accept that it’s okay to not manage everything on my own. Speaking up and seeking help is part of the process. Anxiety is a big part of OCD, and my psychologist is helping me understand where my anxiety stems from. We all have different reasons for feeling anxious – some from trauma, some from everyday stress – and no one’s trauma should be compared to another’s. It’s important to realise that it’s okay to talk about it.
I’ve been sharing my journey on LinkedIn, writing articles about OCD and the things I’ve learned. I hope it helps others, but honestly, I’m still learning about myself too. It’s a process.
How do you cope with confrontation, does that trigger you?
I’m not great with anger. If someone gets really confrontational with me, I go into overdrive mode after the event. My response is usually, ‘Okay, I don’t have control over this situation, so I’ll try to regain control in some way,’ like washing my hands even more. Sometimes, it’s also through repetition. For example, if I’m turning off a light switch, I’ll do it like six or eight times just to make sure it’s off. Logically, I know it’s off after the first time, but it’s like my body is trying to manage that anxiety by doing something that gives me control. In my mind, if I don’t do it, something bad might happen, like a spark from the switch could cause a fire. My mind knows that’s not real, but it’s just firing off these anxious thoughts and making my body react – like my heart racing or getting jittery. Sometimes, it even affects my sleep. And it’s not just physical; my mind starts throwing these horrible scenarios at me, like if I don’t do X, Y, or Z, something terrible will happen. But, there are ways to manage it. CBT therapy, for example, has been great for this, but it definitely takes time. There are other every day ways of increasing your window of tolerance too such as short form 10 minute meditation sessions or taking part in an activity that distracts the mind long enough to allow the triggers to desensitise.
What do you wish would change?
I’ve never liked the term ‘neurodivergent.’ I get that it’s meant to be helpful, but it often feels like it implies there’s one ‘ideal’ neurological state that everyone should fit into. If you don’t, you’re considered divergent, as if there’s something wrong. People talk about it like it’s something that needs to be fixed, and that language can make you feel deflated. We’re in a world where mental health is talked about more, but I think that the language still needs to evolve. Instead of ‘neurodivergent,’ I’d love to see more inclusive language that recognises a ‘rainbow’ of neurological abilities without labelling people as different or a problem.
